From the Fringe | 20.04.2008
Europe Stinks -- Or So Say the Brits
What do you get when you combine German pigs and a strong eastern wind? The Great Stink, apparently. And quite a few sour faces in the UK.
Something is rotten on the Old Continent -- a whiff of bad air is haunting the United Kingdom, and the Brits are not amused.
The spring breeze from across Europe has been tarnished by a stench being hailed by the UK media as the European stink bomb.
The Daily Mail paper blamed the French at first -- a rather obvious choice, considering the public infatuation with stinky cheese in the country of haute cuisine and other butter-drenched extravaganzas.
But when you're stuck under a motionless cloud which smells like a giant rotten egg, there is always enough blame to pass around.
The Germans did it
Bildunterschrift: Großansicht des Bildes mit der Bildunterschrift: Germans appear to have a very developed sense of smell
To make the finger-pointing more fun, "le stink" was -- following the logic of eternal national rivalries -- transformed into "der Stink" so that public outrage could be channeled against bratwurst and cabbage rather than fromages au lait cru and other fungus-laden dairy products.
Meteorologists have assured the British public that the stink is harmless and merely a mixture of animal dung and factory fumes that have floated across the English Channel on the eastern winds.
"It's hard to say exactly what it is," a spokesperson for the British Met Office said. "The air hasn't moved much so it's picked up all kinds of things. All we can do is wait for it to blow away."
Even though the intensity of this bizarre atmospheric aroma was likely to decrease over time, specialists pointed out that the massive malodor fiesta may continue for a couple of days.
Even the Queen
Bildunterschrift: Großansicht des Bildes mit der Bildunterschrift: Oh, I'd better stay at home today, thank you very much!
The British press had a field day reporting the stench, with daily tabloid paper The Sun saying "German hogs pong for Europe."
No Southern English town is apparently safe from the reeking country air this weekend. Even in Royal Windsor, where the Queen has a residence, people have been holding their noses -- which is pretty hard for those trying to keep the proverbial stiff upper lip at the same time.
"When I left home this morning, the smell was virtually unbearable," a spokesperson from Windsor's tourist office said.
"I think the Queen is in. I hope she has her windows closed."
